Record: 2-5-0 (-3.2 units)
Recap:
Loser. Fucking shite. Fuckin hell. I don’t know what’s happening. I am lost. I am losing and I am losing terribly. I never even get a sweat. In this losing streak I am losing from the jump. Never even had a chance. These preseason games are a joke. Every single one has gone over. These fucking idiots are playing their starters for too long. The Colts learned their lesson but I wish it was the Bengals. Those fuckers were full try hard mode in the first quarter and it shafted me. Absolutely, shafted me. It was dead by halftime and you can’t make up how bad I have been. This is a terrible start to the year. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Lock: Browns/Panthers U32.5 1u to win 0.9u
Groundbreaking Analysis:
I know. They have fucked me. One more chance and then I am out. One chance or else I am done with preseason football. This is the line in the sand moment for me. My relationship with preseason football is on the line. I loved all three unders but this is the one. Two dogshit teams going at it in the preseason. One franchise has never drafted well and the other hasn’t been relevant the past ten years. They both have shitters on their team so it’s simple. Also, why the fuck are the totals for today so low? They are low even after the first four have gone over. Doesn’t make sense. Take it. This is it. This is it for the preseason. Give me this under. Under. Under. Under. For Underia 🏴
Unbiased Stats:
Browns scored 10 points in Week 1 Preseason 2024
Panthers scored 3 points in Week 1 Preseason 2024