Record: 125-116-3 (+1.9 units)
Recap:
I will not bet the crown. I will not bet the crown. I will not bet the crown. I will not bet the crown. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I am a moron. What was I thinking? Here’s what I was thinking: I thought this dogshit team, which averages 8.2 threes per game, wouldn’t hit eight threes in the first fucking half. I also thought that some fucking bum, who averages 9.4 PPG this season, wouldn’t go 4/4 from three in the first five minutes and set a career high 30 points. Fuck you, Finley Bizjack. What a shit fucking name. I can’t wait to see this guy in his fifth year on some dogshit team and remember what he did to me. How do I predict this? Of course, with this bullshit happening, they still dragged me back in by only putting up 38 points at the half. You know what that means, right? I get fucked immediately in the second half. I bet on another layup line. I am done with the crown. That’s it. You can’t predict these games. It’s impossible. There is no analysis or data to back up Butler’s scoring this game. Boise State had never allowed a team to score more than 90 this season. Butler also hadn’t scored this many points in a loss this season. There is no data to predict this. I am done with college basketball outside of the last three games. I may be done with basketball in general because I can’t handle these losses for much longer. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Lock: Magic/Wizards U216 1u to win 0.9u
Groundbreaking Analysis:
I’m shooting straight on this one. We’ve got one team that plays slow and another that’s in full tank mode. The Magic are going to win this game by double digits and control the pace. They’re going to suffocate the Wizards on defense, and the Wizards aren’t going to hit triple digits. I am so sick of basketball, but I can’t quit it. I’m giving it one last chance here. I need a winner. I need to stay afloat. I’m back to the point of questioning Underia, and I hate being here. I want to love taking unders again, but I’ve been getting trounced for the past three days. I’m praying the Magic come through for me here and play lockdown defense. I’m not asking for much. All I need is for the Magic to win this game and control the pace. That’s it. The Wizards are playing their shitters for the tank, and all I need from them is to be themselves. That’s it. Don’t fuck me like I’ve been getting fucked the past three days. Just do your job, both teams, one time, please and thank you. Under. Under. Under. For Underia. 🏴
Unbiased Stats:
Under in Wizards’ 5/L6 vs opponents in the Southeast Division
U216 in Magics’ 4/L5
