Record: 16-17-1 (-2.6 units)
Recap:
Winner. He was fucking shite. It was perfect. It’s exactly why I reminded myself to fight with the stats. He couldn’t hit shit. His bat was called just like it has been the past couple of days. It was magical because everybody else could hit. This Marlins pitcher was fucking dog shit and he still couldn’t get on base. It was a fucking perfect. Not a single one. He got on base because of an error, which is a little worrisome because I didn’t know you could have a run, even though you got on base because of an error. That’s some bullshit. Didn’t matter, though it still hit because he didn’t get that run scored. He then got locked right after that and then got pinch run because he’s too fucking slow and that’s a fucking winner. He was shit and I capitalized off of it. I love the stats. I want more of the stats. I want to win so much more. Tomorrow is pretty much Christmas Day and I can’t wait.
Lock: Cowboys/Eagles U47.5 1u to win 0.9u
Groundbreaking Analysis:
It was always this pick. It was destined to be this pick. When the schedule came out, I knew this was gonna be the first bet of the season. It’s the first bet of every season. It’s just the under. A prime time under. I know the Cowboys are shit but I just need them to get a couple stops. I trust this Eagles defense especially after they sadly destroyed my Chiefs. There was never a doubt with this pick. This is essentially an auto pick. First game of the season the offenses will be rusty in primetime. This is like the groundhog of the NFL. I think if this goes under we are in for a nice year and if it doesn’t I will be in shambles. If last week was the dinner to the sports season we are now post dinner getting ready for the night out. This is the first beer of the pregame with all the vibes being high and the full night ahead of us. We get the first winner of the NFL season here. I can’t fucking wait. No sport is better than this. Give me this under. Under. Under. Under. For Underia 🏴
Unbiased Stats:
Cowboys U47.5 in 4/L6